my friends say make you follow, they say "if he doesn't follow you he doesn't love you." my brother says "are you sure you want this?" my mother says "it's your life." my head says "MAKE A FUCKING DECISION." i am in no mental state to make a decision, because he is the only person that i cannot crack open and understand. i guess it's up to me to ask all the questions, up to me to create the strategies and make the moves. i don't want to, but if i don't, i will never see you again and i will be forced to wonder why, and what, and who, and where. and that is not a fate i am willing to possess. however, if i push myself further and further into this, like i want so badly, i must face consequence. think of all the things i could destroy! there is a possibility that i may indeed lose everything, but isn't that all the more reason to leave? but what if i get it all back in some sad twist of fate? then where do i go? i can't stay, but i can't leave.
maybe it's just time to grow up.
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