You Can't Love Me - 9.20.08

I can make myself dinner.I can dress myself. I can pay my bills, I can tie my shoes. I can join a gym, and i can drive to work. I can drink myself into oblivion, and i can put you on your knees in our bedroom. So, when i am out on his porch, do not sting me with that smile--i know what it means. ( "You're just as guilty as me now, I can catch you like you caught me.") Don't stare at me with those double-standard eyes, and don't you lie to me. ("Baby, I don't mind.") So your raps on the window, your eyes all over me and him, they can't matter anymore. I am on the move. I know what you're thinking--("She's just like the rest of them, now i see her lies.")--well, Shut The Fuck Up, dear. If you had heard me, you'd know that i promised this would happen if you took us down this road. His fingertips are allowed to press into my lower back, and my hands in his hair, they can belong there if i'd like them to. I am repeating myself again, but i am so filled with joyful anxiety when the thought of rubbing your lying little face into this braces me. Just when you thought you'd won, well, here i am, the victory's all over my face, my lips, my back; wearing my skin like a veil.